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Isn’t it ironic?

Isn’t it ironic?

It’s really how funny how we all looked forward to this long break, and now we are all complaining about how we all are bored.

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I blog about a lot of things, personal things, but I seldom pour my heart out – but I really have to this time.

It’s really sad when you need understanding and you don’t get it, especially from the people who you expect to give it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with everything that’s happening around me. However, I have an internal issue which I’m dealing with. You see, I’m not used to being this fat. Though big-boned, I wasn’t really fat before. Right now I don’t feel good about myself. I’m very conscious about my size. I’m trying my best to do something about it, but it’s tough.

I choose the photos that I display online. I upload those which are least unflattering. Those that are outright unflattering, no way.

I went for a trial make up today. Yes I know it’s a bit early, but because more and more brides are signing up for May 2005, I want to try the ‘top’ suppliers right away. And that’s what I did today. I wasn’t too happy about how big my face was so I sent the photos to close and good friends, so that they can give me their comments about the hair and make up. But that’s about it. I really didn’t want to post them in the blogs because of the reasons stated above.

I thought that people who love me would be able to understand that. Apparently not. It may not be right – feeling this way – but that’s how I feel.

To those who understand, I thank you. And to those who support me in my trying to lose weight, another round of thanks. I wish and hope to lose weight in the coming year so that I can feel better about myself.

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Thoughts during Traffic


This morning I was trying to remember what Edsa looked like without the MRT. I don’t even remember when it was launched. I also tried to imagine what it would be like again without the MRT. Would the vehicles even move? How many hours will it take for me to reach Makati? How many bus lanes would there be? Four?

I was also trying to compare the MRT to have a private vehicle. With the MRT, yes you do reach your destination with a shorter period of time. But, you’ll have to scramble you way to the cars (I’m talking about the rush hours), push your way to a handle bar or a seat, and stand being with so many people! On the other hand, with a private vehicle, there’s aircon, you can actually listen to whatever music you want, and you can sleep. But, you’ll have to go through REALLY BAD traffic and by the time you reach your destination, you feel so tired.

I was wondering if GMA-7 paid for their placements on the MRT billboards.

And I was also wondering if the PBA billboards helped in any way with the attendance and/or TV ratings of the PBA.

*Shrug.*

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Knowing…

It really doesn’t feel like a year. We weren’t even counting. (‘Cause we were counting the months to the big day ehehehe.) A warning to all: everything that follows will be cliche, but it’s the truth so here goes. When Jovan came into my life, everything changed. My life changed. It has been one of the best years of my life, seriously. You can all ask my close friends about it. My relationship with my parents is at an all-time high. A cynic at heart, I can say that I’m not as negative as I was before. And most importantly, I see God differently, and my relationship with Him improved a lot. The only negative thing I got out of this relationship is that I got fat. :)

I used to always ask my married friends “how did you know that he’s the one?”. And almost always, I would get this answer: “You’ll just know.” I never understood that. How can you ‘just know’? Even if I was in a relationship, why ‘didn’t I know’? Don’t get me wrong, I really think that the ultimate goal for any relationship is marriage. There were also talks about the future before. But “wanting him to be the one” is very different from “knowing he’s the one”.

Thanks to everyone who greeted us. :)